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  • Writer's pictureMaria Kallenbach

When You’re Missing Someone

Today would have been Dad's 80th birthday. We probably would have celebrated by going to El Rodeo after Bible class tonight and asking our amigos to sing him the Mexican version of the Happy Birthday Song and insist he put on the big Mexican hat while I snap pictures and post them to Facebook. His gift would have probably been another flannel shirt.

Instead I sit in my cozy chair by the window and watch my dog Jax watching me and recall how much my dad liked my dog and how much my dog liked him and decide to write a blog on the many ways I fill up days like this missing my dad with good stuff.

I keep in mind something he told me concerning when he died, "I want you to miss me for a little while, but then I want you to live your life."

So, the first part has been easy to do. The second part I wish he would have defined "a little while," for I sometimes don't know how to shut that off. Up to the day he died, I had never gone more than a week without talking with him. But the weeks have stretched into months and now into years. Sometimes the only way I can describe it is that I just feel homesick.

I was never one that wanted to go off and leave the small town I'm from. I even went to college in the local university and stayed home until I got married (except for that 1 semester I roomed with my Bestie and then that couple of months when I got my first teaching job but then had a stalker and decided I was safer at home with my dad and all his shotguns everyone warned him he would need whenever I was about 3 years old.

Homesick. It seems encompass how I feel most days. I try to go about enjoying life, but I secretly wish I could just go home and be with my dad. Sometimes I cry a little and wonder how I can possibly live in a world without my dad in it (I mean, how is this possible? But sure enough, it's happening). I must admit, staying busy helps. I think that's what he meant by "live your life". Do the things that come along that you need to do and then do them with joy.

My dad would not want me to mope around on the holidays. Or pine away for one more time to see him and talk to him. It would have been like all the other times before. He would tease Mom, hassle the girls about boys and insist I bring him coffee (black) and water (no ice) while sharing what's going on with the family he saw on Facebook.

So, what does doing the things that come along that I need to do and doing them with joy look like for today? I can only think of one day at a time after all.

Here's my list for today that I plan to do JOYFULLY in honor of my dad on his birthday that I think he would like:

  1. Take my mom for coffee.

  2. Give my dog a treat when I get home.

  3. Spend time with each of my girls (one on one) and share something funny about my dad.

  4. Encourage my husband at work.

  5. Make a donation to a children's ministry.

  6. Go visit someone at their home.

  7. Eat dessert.

I find that whenever you miss someone, it feels good to honor them by doing things they would do if they were here.

Please let me know what you do that helps you honor a loved one whenever you miss them. I would love to know & hear from you!

Remember to always read your Bible and pray everyday,


1 Thessalonians 5:18 "In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." Bible KJV

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